Fakely Asked Questions

Where is Portillo, TX?
Portillo is a fictional city adjacent to the Houston Ship Channel. It shares aspects of my hometown, Pasadena, plus other nearby cities such as Deer Park, LaPorte, and Channelview. If you happen to be from that area, Bulldogs Suck!!!, and thanks for reading.

What’s up with the different font colors?
As Danny’s diagram suggests, this story takes place in two parallel timelines. Black text indicates the “main” timeline, or Persistent, and takes place over about 8 days, in addition to a few flashbacks. Red text indicates the alternate timeline, or Recursive, which takes place over about a month (also, plus some flashbacks.) I prefer not to explain any further, it is my hope the primary text will be clear on its own, yet evoke a pleasingly dreamlike ambiguity. More likely, it is merely confusing, so check back here.

Isn’t that just like LOST season 6?
I started writing this first, I swear, and we’re both just biting Philip K. Dick, so there you go. Thanks for reading!

You are apparently way older than me, what’s with all the 1990 stuff?
Well, little shaver, here’s a few retro nuggets that will help you understand the story:


  • Mini-trucks – at my high school, guys would get small pickup trucks and lower them, paint them, and install high-powered stereo systems. The Kyle and Danny section of the story is largely inspired by a real guy who painted a terrible psychedelic mural on the side of his mini-truck, allegedly inspired by a “fry trip.”
  • Pagers – a little gadget which enabled people to contact you by dialing a number, then entering their number. Your pager would display their number on a tiny LCD screen. THEN, you would have to call them back. Positively baroque, but there were no iPhones yet.
  • Shitty music – There will always be shitty music, of course, but horrible crap like Warrant, Garth Brooks and Milli Vanilli will never again be so widely loved. FM radio was king, and people just listened to whatever swill was poured in their ears. I largely retreated into classic rock at the time. I would have argued that the A side of Iron Butterfly’s Inna-Gadda-da-Vida album was “actually pretty good” so what do I know?


Are Rex and RJ the same person?
Patience, dear reader.


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